What are you having for dinner on Valentine’s Day?

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Today is Valentine’s Day. For many who have a special someone, it is a day to look forward to. Or is it? Everyone wants to make a great impression on their significant other. Men want to get the perfect gift for their lady. Ladies want to be all dolled up and look beautiful for their man. But once you have that perfect dress and perfect gift, have you thought of what is going to be on your plate?

One of my best girlfriends and I were eating chicken wings for lunch one day and she said “I would sooooo not eat this on my first date.” From then we would think up embarrassing situations with food on dates. Every time when either one of us makes a blunder with food we would say, “I would not have this on my date.”

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Shrimp with shell on

I have not mastered the skill of peeling my shrimp or prawn with elegance. It is the food I avoid when I am at lunch or dinner gathering with friends. It is horrible when the waiter brings you your food and you realize that the shrimp still has its shell on. Same logic applies to crab and shellfish.

I’ll share with you my shrimp story. I was having lunch with a bunch of friends and there so happens that there is shrimp on the menu. The shell was still intact. Since it was a rather informal setting, we all dug in, peeling off the shrimp shell with our hands. I got a really stubborn piece of shell on the tail of the shrimp and was struggling to take it off. Suddenly the tail loosened and somehow with the flick of my fingers it went flying in the air. It went up six feet high then landed on the floor three feet away right in front of my guy friend who was walking by. Oh the horror, the horror. He was nice(?) enough to pick up the tail and return it to the table saying, “I believe this is yours.” It was embarrassing and hilarious at the same time and our whole table had a good laugh. Imagine doing that in front of someone you like. The embarrassment will kill you.

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Sushi

Sushi rolls are usually too big to fit in your mouth. Sometimes they are just slightly under the diameter of a tennis ball. How many times have you bitten into a roll and all the fillings fall out? Then you’re there for a split second thinking whether you should spit it all out or stick it all into your mouth. It will get worse if it is your first time using chopsticks.

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Spaghetti Bolognese

I bet a lot of people have nightmares about them. Mothers have nightmares washing red sauce off of baby clothes. We twist a small bundle of spaghetti around our fork by twirling it clockwise but there is always that one long strand that hangs off the fork. You end up sluuuuurrrping up the longest strand. Stick to penne.

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Hotdog

Mustard, ketchup, relish, onions. Need I say more? If you are eating this on Valentine’s Day then you might have to rethink your partner.

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Watermelon

I hate eating watermelon slices in public. Especially when it is a long slice. I get watermelon all over my face. The worst part is the seeds. You spend more time spitting out seeds than enjoying the yummy red watermelon flesh. Stick to seedless watermelon and make sure it is cubed.

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Long vegetables

Chinese restaurants are the biggest culprits: Kai Lan, choy sum and the like. Spare yourself from looking like a cow eating hay.

What can you eat, you ask? At this point it seems that the safest bet is white bread!

Have I instilled fear in you? Are you grappling for your phone trying to call off your date? Don’t. Bottom line is if you are a sloppy eater at dinner and you never hear from your date again, that relationship is not good for you anyway. People should love you for who you are. Small things such as table manners should not jeopardize your entire relationship. I can’t say that it wouldn’t if there are multiple small problems though. If you spill ketchup on yourself, set the tablecloth on fire, knock over a cart of dinner plates all within an hour then I can’t vouch for you.

Enjoy your Valentine’s day!

*Images credit to whoever took the photo. I searched on google image @_@

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